Where did all the trans lesbians go?

They're here. They're just in deep, deep, stealth. Hiding as boys. Hiding from themselves. And absolutely, crushingly miserable. I can't think of any more lesbian act than to seek, identify, and validate these womyn as womyn and start saving them from the lie they were told from birth: "What a fine boy you are."

Think I'm full of it? Imagine with all the gate-keeping and taught self-loathing, how hard it was for you to transition... how easy it would have been to get caught up, and try to deny who you were. Lynn Conway estimates for every transitioned womon, there are three or four who aren't.

That's an awful lot of womyn. An awful lot of lesbians.

marjaerwin and I want to help them. And we need your help. We need opinions, hypotheses, advice from those who've been there for a womon as she transitioned. What worked. What didn't. How to let womyn express themselves.

Looking for collaborators on this project, but a sounding board or twelve will also help. Please, comment here, or if you're not comfortable doing so, send either of us a message. Help us write the Trans Dyke Rescue Guide.

Marriage bill passes senate in Maine 21-14

What's the difference between marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships? Do they offer the same rights and protections? Read on to find out.

Domestic partnerships
Domestic partnerships are the lowest level of relationship recognition, and the rights and responsibilities they convey vary drastically from state to state. The protections and benefits of domestic partnerships are typically minimal, and are not recognized if the couple travels outside their home state.

In 1999 California Governor Grey Davis signed a domestic partner bill, making California the first state to legally recognize same-sex relationships (the District of Columbia passed a domestic partner bill in 1992, but it was blocked from taking effect until 2002). Until its landmark decision on marriage in 2008, California provided benefits and protections to same-sex couples exclusively through its domestic partner laws; now, same-sex couples in California may choose to register as domestic partners, or to get married.

Today, a handful of states - including Maine - recognize domestic partnerships in some form. In some states, this is largely a symbolic recognition. In other states, registering as domestic partners provides a limited set of protections and responsibilities. Some employers, but not all, offer domestic partner health care benefits. Many domestic partners must take exhaustive (and expensive) legal steps to protect themselves and their families. Even then, they can still face serious financial, legal and social challenges, especially as they age, retire, purchase property, raise children and seek medical treatment.

See also: Domestic Partnerships in Maine

Civil unions
Four states recognize civil unions: Vermont, Connecticut, New Jersey and New Hampshire.

Civil unions may not be recognized outside the state in which they are performed - which means that if a couple faces a medical emergency while traveling, one partner may not be permitted to make decisions for the other. Employers may or may not offer health insurance for parties in a civil union.

While the protections and benefits of a civil union are greater than those of a domestic partnership, they still fall short of providing the hundreds of protections automatically conveyed by civil marriage. Like those in domestic partnerships, civil union couples must take additional legal steps to provide greater protections for themselves and their children, though no amount of supplementary paperwork can provide all the benefits of civil marriage.

For many families, the greatest harm of civil unions is the "separate and unequal" status they convey. The Supreme Court of Connecticut decided in 2008 that it is unconstitutional to force same-sex couples into "separate and unequal" status by offering civil unions but blocking them from civil marriage.

See also: "Separate and Not Equal" (New York Times, Dec. 20, 2008)

Two states recognize marriage for same-sex couples: Massachusetts and Connecticut.

Civil marriage automatically confers hundreds of rights and responsibilities on couples, and provides critical protections for their families. While gay and lesbian families can protect themselves in limited ways by constructing wills, health care proxies and co-parent adoptions, alone or in addition to domestic partnerships or civil unions, this does not come close to emulating the automatic protections and peace of mind that only marriage can give. People simply cannot contract their way into changing hundreds of laws that affect survivorship rights, worker’s compensation dependency protection or the tax system.

Beyond specific legal protections, marriage confers the intangible benefit of recognition as a family. The word itself is an important protection. Marriage is arguably this nation’s most important civic institution; excluding same-sex couples from marriage marks them and their children as unworthy— and that can’t be remedied with piecemeal legal arrangements.

Religious institutions are not required to perform marriages, though a growing number of faith communities welcome same-sex couples, and there are clergy members who are happy to perform same-sex weddings.

There is no residency requirement for marriage in Massachusetts. In July 2008 a majority of Massachusetts lawmakers voted to repeal a 1913 law that had been revived by then-Governor Mitt Romney in 2004. This ancient law, which was created to prevent interracial marriage, said that couples whose marriages would be "void" in their home states could not marry in Massachusetts. Governor Duval Patrick signed the repeal, eliminating the barrier to out-of-state same-sex couples marrying in Massachusetts. However, as in California, these marriages may not be recognized by other state and local governments. For more about marriage in Massachusetts, and a comprehensive library of information and resources, visit the Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) marriage page.

Same-sex couples from other states will also be able to marry in Connecticut. Details about Connecticut's October 2008 decision are still forthcoming; for the latest news and information, please visit Love Makes a Family.

Want to start new Trans Butch/ Femme community

I want to start a new community for trans butches and femmes. No I don't mean female to femme bullshit or tg butch (unless your also ts).  I mean trans female butches and femmes.

I want it to be a space where butches and femmes who are into butches or femmes or both can flirt and find community without a big dark cloud of trans misogyny looming over us. I'm open to possiblity of it being a space for partners of trans female butches or femmes too. But it needs to stay trans female centered. Please comment if you think this sounds cool or your interested in modding.  Also forward it around to people who would be interested.

ETA: the Community is up and running:

to join send me a message telling me how you id, and who your into and confirm that your trans female. You can tell me other stuff too...


Wednesday April 22 at the Augusta Civic Center, hearings on gay marriage. Turnout look fab...but everyone who can ought to pop in

17 April 9pm Dragshow memorial union

Tranny Roadshow !first ever appearence in Maine!will preform @ Minsky Recital Hall in the 1944 Hall @ 7:30 24 April!
captured faerie

Trans women, Women's Spaces and Internal Colonization

So I am taking a prejudice and discrimination in modern society course this semester, and as we go through some of the topics about how prejudice develops and how discrimination is enforced, I cannot help by find myself looking at it in terms of the transsexual experience.

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One of the topics we have recently covered in class is how a culture gains and then maintains control – internal colonization – of a subordinate group. Now, since different individuals might have different meanings assigned to the phrase "internal colonization" I will clarify the definition I will be operating with and its parameters.

There are four parts to how discrimination is maintained in internal colonization:
1) Authority over how subordinate group is governed
2) Restriction of movement
3) Belief in the inferiority of the subordinate group's culture and practices
4) Colonial Labor Principle

Most of these are I feel are self explanatory except colonial labor principle, which I go into further later in this post.

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That really is about as far as I am on this.
I could use some feed back on this. Are my experiences and perceptions shared by others in the community? Or am I alone in feeling like these are the unspoken rules of the game when it comes to trans women's participation in women's spaces? Are my experiences and perceptions real, but simply in the minority?

I will also admit that the majority of my experience with women's space is in the Leather community. It might well be different in spaces outside of that. Are things different in other women's communites? Especially those where heterosexual women are more common? Not saying there are not heterosexual women in the women's leather spaces, but I certainly get the impression that the majority of the women there are bisexual, homosexual or queer.

TL;DR summary:
Theories of internal colonialism can be applied to how trans women relate to women's spaces. Cissexual women make rules about transsexual women's participation in women's space. Displays of transsexual women's bodies are often restricted and conditional. Trans women are often perceived as inferior, imitation or pitiable women. And cute, passive, meek, femme trans women are okay, but better not act too butch, aggressive, hit on cissexual feminine women or in any way compete or threaten or challenge the authority of cissexual lesbians, least they suddenly fine themselves as being labeled too masculine or male.

edit: I also request that if feed back is given on things like my terminology, please reference where I used it. My remember for remembering details, even of my own writing, is rather shoddy.

an intro...

so here's a katie-summary: i'm 26, i've got two kids (6 and 2) with my awesome dyke exgirlfriend, i do a 'zine called night cookies (it's about all the things that i'm about: parenting, radical politics, sex, being single, books, chickens, gardening, etc. if you want to read it, e-mail me at katiekaput at gmail dot com and we can work something out)... the four of us are moving to portland, oregon next month after spending some time living in rural northern california. part of why we're moving is 'cause e. and i broke up while living here and that made living-in-the-woods go from "really cozy" to "really isolating and lonely." our whole family is still gonna be under one roof when we move. i've been involved in trans and dyke communities since i was 14, and hopefully i've learned something at some point and am not as annoying as i once was.;) i write songs and i want to be in another punk band (i was in a "riot grrrl" type band you've never heard of in my hometown) before i'm 35. and after, too, please.

my thoughts on trans girls liking trans girls in my life: i've always been attracted to women in general, but this concept of trans women being attracted to trans women has become important to me since becoming single. i see it (in my life, not necessarily in yrs!) as a manifestation of my self-love and self-respect to really openly acknowledge that among the women that i find hot are other trans women. i am just now learning self-love and self-respect, so bare with me.;)

i've also been feeling like my relationships with non-trans women have consistently left me feeling vulnerable and weaker in some sense than them, perhaps through too much comparison to them in terms of me "not measuring up" and maybe also because my experience of being a trans woman in radical feminist circles has been that i am, to some extent, at the mercy of non-trans women so long as i don't have extremely well-trusted allies around me.

i will stop rambling now because i am being called to climb a tree. <3

Hello Sue I've Got Legs!!

Hello all this girl just wanted to introduce herself. She is a 24 year old polyamorous submissive trans girl who have been on hormones of hormones 2 years in September. Currently in a long distance D/s relationship with her Mistress Trinity Dejavu.  There is probably more to tell so if you have any more questions feel free to ask her.

Lilly A. Noodle, Queen of the Waffle, Defender of Toast


Okay, I am single, I am lonely, I want a girlfriend but.... yes but... I am posting pictures... YAY!

Me this morning...

and me last night...

If you want to email me feel free

massive giant hugs from the planet Doodop

Chrisie xxx