They're here. They're just in deep, deep, stealth. Hiding as boys. Hiding from themselves. And absolutely, crushingly miserable. I can't think of any more lesbian act than to seek, identify, and validate these womyn as womyn and start saving them from the lie they were told from birth: "What a fine boy you are."

Think I'm full of it? Imagine with all the gate-keeping and taught self-loathing, how hard it was for you to transition... how easy it would have been to get caught up, and try to deny who you were. Lynn Conway estimates for every transitioned womon, there are three or four who aren't.

That's an awful lot of womyn. An awful lot of lesbians.

marjaerwin and I want to help them. And we need your help. We need opinions, hypotheses, advice from those who've been there for a womon as she transitioned. What worked. What didn't. How to let womyn express themselves.

Looking for collaborators on this project, but a sounding board or twelve will also help. Please, comment here, or if you're not comfortable doing so, send either of us a message. Help us write the Trans Dyke Rescue Guide.

What's the difference between marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships? Do they offer the same rights and protections? Read on to find out.

Domestic partnerships
Domestic partnerships are the lowest level of relationship recognition, and the rights and responsibilities they convey vary drastically from state to state. The protections and benefits of domestic partnerships are typically minimal, and are not recognized if the couple travels outside their home state.

In 1999 California Governor Grey Davis signed a domestic partner bill, making California the first state to legally recognize same-sex relationships (the District of Columbia passed a domestic partner bill in 1992, but it was blocked from taking effect until 2002). Until its landmark decision on marriage in 2008, California provided benefits and protections to same-sex couples exclusively through its domestic partner laws; now, same-sex couples in California may choose to register as domestic partners, or to get married.

Today, a handful of states - including Maine - recognize domestic partnerships in some form. In some states, this is largely a symbolic recognition. In other states, registering as domestic partners provides a limited set of protections and responsibilities. Some employers, but not all, offer domestic partner health care benefits. Many domestic partners must take exhaustive (and expensive) legal steps to protect themselves and their families. Even then, they can still face serious financial, legal and social challenges, especially as they age, retire, purchase property, raise children and seek medical treatment.


See also: Domestic Partnerships in Maine


Civil unions
Four states recognize civil unions: Vermont, Connecticut, New Jersey and New Hampshire.

Civil unions may not be recognized outside the state in which they are performed - which means that if a couple faces a medical emergency while traveling, one partner may not be permitted to make decisions for the other. Employers may or may not offer health insurance for parties in a civil union.

While the protections and benefits of a civil union are greater than those of a domestic partnership, they still fall short of providing the hundreds of protections automatically conveyed by civil marriage. Like those in domestic partnerships, civil union couples must take additional legal steps to provide greater protections for themselves and their children, though no amount of supplementary paperwork can provide all the benefits of civil marriage.

For many families, the greatest harm of civil unions is the "separate and unequal" status they convey. The Supreme Court of Connecticut decided in 2008 that it is unconstitutional to force same-sex couples into "separate and unequal" status by offering civil unions but blocking them from civil marriage.

See also: "Separate and Not Equal" (New York Times, Dec. 20, 2008)


Marriage
Two states recognize marriage for same-sex couples: Massachusetts and Connecticut.

Civil marriage automatically confers hundreds of rights and responsibilities on couples, and provides critical protections for their families. While gay and lesbian families can protect themselves in limited ways by constructing wills, health care proxies and co-parent adoptions, alone or in addition to domestic partnerships or civil unions, this does not come close to emulating the automatic protections and peace of mind that only marriage can give. People simply cannot contract their way into changing hundreds of laws that affect survivorship rights, worker’s compensation dependency protection or the tax system.

Beyond specific legal protections, marriage confers the intangible benefit of recognition as a family. The word itself is an important protection. Marriage is arguably this nation’s most important civic institution; excluding same-sex couples from marriage marks them and their children as unworthy— and that can’t be remedied with piecemeal legal arrangements.

Religious institutions are not required to perform marriages, though a growing number of faith communities welcome same-sex couples, and there are clergy members who are happy to perform same-sex weddings.

There is no residency requirement for marriage in Massachusetts. In July 2008 a majority of Massachusetts lawmakers voted to repeal a 1913 law that had been revived by then-Governor Mitt Romney in 2004. This ancient law, which was created to prevent interracial marriage, said that couples whose marriages would be "void" in their home states could not marry in Massachusetts. Governor Duval Patrick signed the repeal, eliminating the barrier to out-of-state same-sex couples marrying in Massachusetts. However, as in California, these marriages may not be recognized by other state and local governments. For more about marriage in Massachusetts, and a comprehensive library of information and resources, visit the Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) marriage page.

Same-sex couples from other states will also be able to marry in Connecticut. Details about Connecticut's October 2008 decision are still forthcoming; for the latest news and information, please visit Love Makes a Family.

I want to start a new community for trans butches and femmes. No I don't mean female to femme bullshit or tg butch (unless your also ts).  I mean trans female butches and femmes.

I want it to be a space where butches and femmes who are into butches or femmes or both can flirt and find community without a big dark cloud of trans misogyny looming over us. I'm open to possiblity of it being a space for partners of trans female butches or femmes too. But it needs to stay trans female centered. Please comment if you think this sounds cool or your interested in modding.  Also forward it around to people who would be interested.

ETA: the Community is up and running:
butchfemmetrans 

to join send me a message telling me how you id, and who your into and confirm that your trans female. You can tell me other stuff too...

Wednesday April 22 at the Augusta Civic Center, hearings on gay marriage. Turnout look fab...but everyone who can ought to pop in


17 April 9pm Dragshow memorial union




Tranny Roadshow !first ever appearence in Maine!will preform @ Minsky Recital Hall in the 1944 Hall @ 7:30 24 April!

hey! it doesn't look like this group has gotten much traffic in a while. but here goes my intro anyways. (cross posted to transdyke)

i'm june. i'm 21.

( long post on transition, being a butch dyke, and womonhood )

So I am taking a prejudice and discrimination in modern society course this semester, and as we go through some of the topics about how prejudice develops and how discrimination is enforced, I cannot help by find myself looking at it in terms of the transsexual experience.

( rambling disclaimer )

One of the topics we have recently covered in class is how a culture gains and then maintains control – internal colonization – of a subordinate group. Now, since different individuals might have different meanings assigned to the phrase "internal colonization" I will clarify the definition I will be operating with and its parameters.

There are four parts to how discrimination is maintained in internal colonization:
1) Authority over how subordinate group is governed
2) Restriction of movement
3) Belief in the inferiority of the subordinate group's culture and practices
4) Colonial Labor Principle

Most of these are I feel are self explanatory except colonial labor principle, which I go into further later in this post.

( how I analyze the concept of internal colonization through the lens of trans woman experience with women's spaces )

That really is about as far as I am on this.
I could use some feed back on this. Are my experiences and perceptions shared by others in the community? Or am I alone in feeling like these are the unspoken rules of the game when it comes to trans women's participation in women's spaces? Are my experiences and perceptions real, but simply in the minority?

I will also admit that the majority of my experience with women's space is in the Leather community. It might well be different in spaces outside of that. Are things different in other women's communites? Especially those where heterosexual women are more common? Not saying there are not heterosexual women in the women's leather spaces, but I certainly get the impression that the majority of the women there are bisexual, homosexual or queer.

TL;DR summary:
Theories of internal colonialism can be applied to how trans women relate to women's spaces. Cissexual women make rules about transsexual women's participation in women's space. Displays of transsexual women's bodies are often restricted and conditional. Trans women are often perceived as inferior, imitation or pitiable women. And cute, passive, meek, femme trans women are okay, but better not act too butch, aggressive, hit on cissexual feminine women or in any way compete or threaten or challenge the authority of cissexual lesbians, least they suddenly fine themselves as being labeled too masculine or male.

edit: I also request that if feed back is given on things like my terminology, please reference where I used it. My remember for remembering details, even of my own writing, is rather shoddy.

so here's a katie-summary: i'm 26, i've got two kids (6 and 2) with my awesome dyke exgirlfriend, i do a 'zine called night cookies (it's about all the things that i'm about: parenting, radical politics, sex, being single, books, chickens, gardening, etc. if you want to read it, e-mail me at katiekaput at gmail dot com and we can work something out)... the four of us are moving to portland, oregon next month after spending some time living in rural northern california. part of why we're moving is 'cause e. and i broke up while living here and that made living-in-the-woods go from "really cozy" to "really isolating and lonely." our whole family is still gonna be under one roof when we move. i've been involved in trans and dyke communities since i was 14, and hopefully i've learned something at some point and am not as annoying as i once was.;) i write songs and i want to be in another punk band (i was in a "riot grrrl" type band you've never heard of in my hometown) before i'm 35. and after, too, please.

my thoughts on trans girls liking trans girls in my life: i've always been attracted to women in general, but this concept of trans women being attracted to trans women has become important to me since becoming single. i see it (in my life, not necessarily in yrs!) as a manifestation of my self-love and self-respect to really openly acknowledge that among the women that i find hot are other trans women. i am just now learning self-love and self-respect, so bare with me.;)

i've also been feeling like my relationships with non-trans women have consistently left me feeling vulnerable and weaker in some sense than them, perhaps through too much comparison to them in terms of me "not measuring up" and maybe also because my experience of being a trans woman in radical feminist circles has been that i am, to some extent, at the mercy of non-trans women so long as i don't have extremely well-trusted allies around me.

i will stop rambling now because i am being called to climb a tree. <3

I'm a 34 year old pre-op transwoman of the lesbian variety. I like cis- and trans- women (regardless of op status). I feel like I'm the only single transwoman in this town sometimes...and yet the only women I seem to meet that are single are either straight or lesbian/bisexual women who aren't attracted to transwomen (or just me, *shrug*). I haven't met many transwomen like myself here, and those I have are already in relationships...or we're just not into the same things.

Just wanted to say hi and find a community of like minded individuals as opposed to wanting to use the internet as a personals ad. Those are just the facts of why I tend to be a bit jaded and cynical.

I deejay in clubs around town...mostly of the Deathrock and Goth variety, but I have a love with a lot of different genres of music. My favorite genres just happen to be Punk, Post-Punk, Deathrock, Gothic Rock, old school Industrial, Krautrock, Dub/Reggae/Rocksteady/Ska, New Wave, Darkwave...pretty much what constitutes my subcultural identity.

I like graphic novels, Love and Rockets is my favorite.

I have a bs in physics and a ba in philosophy. I am pretty much a hardcore atheist and upholder of the scientific method and defender of the correct utilization of the word "quantum" from the new age kooks that give it some mystical connotation.

My favorite philosophy is existentialism/phenomenology. My lifelong struggle with my gender identity was integral with trying to understand the nature of human existence.

I have been associated with Soto Zen Buddhism in an academic and practitioner context. And for the ignorant masses, there is no conflict between being a atheist and incorporating Buddhist philosophy.

I am a libertarian socialist in the classic definition, what some people might call anarchism in general or anarcho-syndicalism in particular. I suppose though in all practical terms, I'd rather live within a more European Social Democracy as a compromise, but unfortunately I live in the US and well...need I explain how I have neither the means or ends to emigrate to another country. I like Spain, Barcelona especially. I have a romanticism about the Spanish Civil War.

I work in a library. I read mostly non-fiction, am obsessed with languages and linguistics. I like transgressive literature, even that which has made it into the mainstream (like Hunter S. Thompson, Chuck Palahniuk).

Anyway, hi.

Hello all this girl just wanted to introduce herself. She is a 24 year old polyamorous submissive trans girl who have been on hormones of hormones 2 years in September. Currently in a long distance D/s relationship with her Mistress Trinity Dejavu.  There is probably more to tell so if you have any more questions feel free to ask her.

Love,
Lilly A. Noodle, Queen of the Waffle, Defender of Toast
=^_^=

Okay, I am single, I am lonely, I want a girlfriend but.... yes but... I am posting pictures... YAY!

Me this morning...



and me last night...



If you want to email me feel free

massive giant hugs from the planet Doodop

Chrisie xxx

Hi, I'm Lisa. I'm 27, and currently reside in Leeds, in the Peoples Republic Of West Yorkshire, nominally considered part of the United Kingdom, where I live with 3 of my 4 girlfriends. I'm a software engineer by day, bemohawked frontier cook and kitchen gadget fiend by night. I can often be found flitting between the two on my unneccessarily loud motorcycle... man, I'm such a stereotype!

I transitioned at 19, had the op at 20, and have since forgotten everything I ever knew about most things. Oh well, at least the senility matches my quickly greying hair :)

Hey everyone here is some information about our group for those that haven't heard of us yet and information about things that are coming up for those that would like to be involved.

***Please distribute far and wide***

(rio)T-Grrrl is a zine about issues related to transsexual women, transgendered women, MTF genderqueers, and pretty much anyone else that identifies on the MTF-spectrum of gender. The first issue, A Transdykes' guide to lesbian sex, was written solely by the editor, Kate Lamothe, about her experiences of being a transsexual woman and sleeping with other women (trans or not).

Submissions for the second issue, concerning the same general topic of negotiating sex with women as an MTF-spectrum person, are being accepted. Please feel free to submit erotic stories, photography, tips on safer sex & consent, poetry, theoretical musings, and/or rants and raves.
At this time, I am only looking for submissions from MTF-spectrum folk (or, likewise, from non-trans women who sleep with TS/TG/GQ women).

This is a not-for-profit venture. All contributers will not be compensated financially but will get a copy of the zine. However, if funding to cover printing costs can be found, it may even be distributed for free.

Deadline for submissions is July 1st, 2008.

To submit, to obtain a copy of the first issue, or for more general info, please contact:
t_grrrl_zine@yahoo.ca

x-posted to lots of places

Here are the rest of them...


Again...hope you enjoy :)

xoxo
Kate

P.S. If anyone wants a physical copy--->email me at feminist_ally@yahoo.ca

P.P.S. I'm going to do a second issue in a few months wherein I get other transdykes to contribute...so just a heads up :)

So I made a zine about being a transsexual lesbian and what that entails. There are pornographic photos, erotic stories, safer sex/consent tips, poetry, and other random rantings, ravings, and theoretical musings. + there is a brief resources page (I live in Montreal so they're all contextual to here!)

Hope you enjoy:


xoxo
Kate

P.S. More will come in the next few days!

x-posted to transdyke

I guess I should introduce myself, though I'm not sure what to say.

My name is Anna, I live in Brooklyn, NY right now, I'm 38 and just getting started transitioning. My life has been pretty crazy, but most of it has been a process of healing all the damage of my childhood. Which is probably why I'm just getting started now. I regret that I didn't find a way of doing this earlier, for so many reasons.
[This post] will probably tell you more than you wanted to know about me :)

I've been on and off hormones, back on right now, totally underground, as I don't have much money or much desire to get forced into the Benjamin protocol right now. I'm working on a way to fix the money situation, and once I do, I suppose I'll eventually find the right doctor and such. Hair removal is a big priority for me, in a way that it might not be for someone who transitions young(though I don't know for sure, just speculating). It's something that doesn't get talked about enough I think. Because of that, I have to wear a lot more makeup than I'd prefer to right now. I'm sort of overcompensating for body issues with clothing and makeup, and I know a lot of cis-women do that too, but I know that ideally, once I get myself sorted physically, I'll be able to be a bit more androgynous and feel comfortable with that.
Sexually, I usually describe myself as "bisexual" to outsiders because it's simple and explains enough to move on from there. Of course that phrase is totally fraught with problems, internal (in that it's broad and vague) and external (because there's an agenda to pretend it doesn't exist among some people). I'd say if I had to give an estimate, that I have a 75-25 preference for the "female" tropes/archetypes, sexually, but I also have strong urges to do things like perform fellatio or be penetrated. (I told a friend once "I like the cock, not so much what it's usually attached to") I don't want to ever have sex with someone who perceives me as "male" or relates to me sexually that way, if that makes sense. I'm vaguely polyamorous, but I prefer to describe it as "non-jealously open to whatever", as I don't subscribe to a standard definition of being polyamorous.
In general you could say that I'm an anarchist, not only politically, but interpersonally as well.
I'm into thinking about all kinds of stuff, economics, history, politics, comparative religion, lolcats.

Below the cut are some pictures of me that I think came out relatively well:
( oh hai ther )

Current Mood: dorky

Transgender and Transsexual Women Needed for Research on Thoughts About Sexual Reassignment Surgery


My M.A. research* involves interviewing transgender and transsexual women on their opinions on sexual reassignment surgery. Identities will remain confidential. Please contribute to the sociological understanding of transgender and transsexual experience. If you can not be involved in this study, please pass the flyer on to others who may be interested.


Participants must:
• Be between the ages 18 to 39 years old
• Have not yet had or do not plan on having sexual reassignment surgery (pre-operative)
• Be willing to be interviewed

FOR MORE INFORMATION:
Please Contact: Maria McKinney
Department of Sociology
University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee
Email: mariaam2@uwm.edu
Cell: (414) 531-7517


*This research is supervised by Professor Stacey Oliker
Department of Sociology, UWM

This research has been approved by the
University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Institutional Review Board
(#08.209) on March 13, 2008

Hi:

I just realized I have not introduced myself.  I am Paola.  I live in Troy, NY.  I have not written my intro here but I will try to do it sometime.  In the mean time feel free to check my info at www.myspace.com/patriciajgcd  and www.myspace.com/pedro_j_gonzalez.   I am in the intial phases of transition and can't wait to start living full time.  Anyway, if anyone wants to know more about me feel free to write me.  

Paola

Current Mood: tired

Hey, y'all, this message is twofold:

One: all of us who can, should go to the NCTE lobby day April 14th & 15th. When Obama becomes president [he'd better], ENDA has a good chance of passing, and we've got to make sure it's inclusive. Plus there's tons of lobbying and education that needs to happen, we should be doing it! And doing it together, as a community, will make it tons easier. ( Email from NCTE follows )

Two:When we're there, we should all meet up, and be an in person community. And yes, hook up with each other, those who want to. I mean, really, that's what this community is all about, right? ;) But, regardless of the hooking up, I'd be stoked to see all your shining faces and get to have a physical transdyke community more than just at Camp Trans. And, you know, it's going to be pretty emotionally intense and we should be there to support each other/celebrate our successes.

So, comment here if you're going and want to meet up! I am.

Also, apparently there's a major Black Rose "sleepover" (I assume this means overnight playparty) happening the saturday before...

One thing about us trans folk, we're a big tent.

We have casual cross dressers on one side to post op SRS types on the other.

That puts me somewhere two thirds over by the SRS side.  While there's lot's
of my maleness I'd like to shit can getting an erection isn't one of them.

After all there's nothing hotter than a cute t-girl sporting a nice big hummer,
oh my!  We should all decorate ours for the holiday.  Dip it in syrup for our
lover and give a whole new meaning to the words "Hard Candy."

BLUSH!  Did I just type that?  Bad Lori, naughty naughty.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: flirty